What's in a name?

Tyler got me a Kindle for Christmas (and not only a Kindle, but one pre-loaded with lots of fun travel books for our upcoming trip to Istanbul, and a subscription to the New York Times!).  Since then, the Kindle has scarcely left my side (it's like the commercial from when we were little: "My buddy...my buddy... wherever I go, he goes too! -- my buddy and me!")

I'm officially hooked.

Today on my Kindle, I read an interesting op-ed in the Times on changing one's name.  Now, this is an area I have thought a lot about for a year and a half now, beginning soon after Tyler and I had become engaged.  As the wedding approached, I talked to tons of girlfriends about their choice of keeping vs. changing their name and more importantly, the factors that went into their decision.  I had always assumed I would change my name, yet as our wedding approached, I started to acquire the undeniable symptoms of separation anxiety.  I mean, I liked my last name.  At the same time, I did like the feeling of "one-ness" and unity that having one last name implies.

Who knew that India would provide a year's extension in which to work out my internal neuroses -- as my passport, visa, and all things legal are in my maiden name (and good luck trying to convince the folks at immigration why your names do not match up across documents).

Fast-forward to the article in today's Times.  The author writes, "Twelve years ago, I changed my name to Alina Simone... When I think back to my old self, I think of an entirely different person, not altogether likable, whose singular distinguishing characteristic was the chronic inability to follow through with anything she said she would do.  I picked up and abandoned projects with great regularity back then, careful to always avoid the frightening terrain where my true ambitions lay.

Then I changed my name and it changed me.  In my new incarnation as Alina Simone, I had no reputation, no history of unmet expectations, nothing to lose.  I started singing; I formed a band.  I poured my best self into my new name."

The thing is though, that I like who I am as Tricia Morente.  Sure, there are habits I'd like to stop and habits I'd like to start, but by and large, there's no desire to run away from who I am.  

Although, it is an interesting thought: What would you be in a new incarnation?  Who would you be in your best self?

Perhaps I've been looking at it all wrong: rather than losing who I've been, perhaps a change in name can ultimately be a means towards becoming the person I truly want to be.

And with that, I think of a friend's recent email, looking ahead to the new year.  He writes:

I have a strong feeling about 2012.  It is not just another leap year.  I look forward to seeing it unfold -- for each one of us and for the globe as a whole.

Enjoy the leap -- of faith, of consciousness, of everything that is.