Countdown to July

Back in full wedding-planning mode, and I now remember why I stopped in the first place... it's really quite amazing all the messaging you're bombarded with:

• "Happiness is Getting Married" - from the website of a potential videographer
• "Home wasn't built in a day... Relax, take a deep breath, and take it one room at a time" - from the Bloomingdales registry... as though choosing what your guests will get you is the most stressful, important decision of all-time
• (And perhaps the one that made me take a time-out from planning): I don't even remember what the magazine ad was for, but the visual was a marathon race ribbon with the words "Finish Line", spread across the wedding altar

Hello!! And one wonders why the American divorce rate is so high (40% in 2008)! It's as though the wedding itself is the "end", Hollywood's "happily ever after"... when really, it's obviously just the beginning. It amazes me how many people seem to confuse "wedding" with "marriage."

All this energy on the wedding (a wedding planner, the perfect dress, the perfect everything...) Even trying not to get sucked into this maelstrom, I somehow managed to spend this week getting way too stressed out by our RSVP response cards (envelope, postcard, online???) -- it's ridiculous.

Everyone asks about the dress, the registry... there's minimal discussion or questions about the marriage itself: our vision of it, our dreams and our fears. It's easier to ask how I plan on wearing my hair that day.

Don't get me wrong. Of course, it's been incredibly exciting planning for our wedding (we just booked our honeymoon tickets!!) But it's a real shame that in the end, what society focuses all its energy on is a massive party. After all, that's the easy part. What's important is what comes after.